Are you easily offended? In this climate of political correctness, we have to be so careful we can’t have fun with our communication. We have been Humor Consultants since 1981 and many times we have been asked about offensive humor.

First, no matter how innocent, any humor can be perceived to be offensive. We have five kids and once were asked which one of our kids is our favorite. We said, “The last one.” They asked why. We said, “Because it is the last one. Then, they asked why we had five kids. We answered, “Because we did not want six.”

In our programs, we ask who was not offended by those two jokes. Almost everyone raises their hand. But what if you have always wanted to have children and haven’t. Or worse, what if you or someone you know just lost a child or had a miscarriage. Could those jokes be offensive? The answer is yes.

No matter how innocent any comment is, it can always be perceived to be offensive. So when communicating, you always must put yourself in the receiver’s shoes. Native Americans have a saying, “Walk a Moon in their Moccasins.” A moon is 28 days. Some of us don’t take 28 seconds to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

We know that people with high self-esteem and low ego make themselves feel good by making others feel good. People with high ego and low self-esteem make themselves feel good by making others feel bad. Remember, people may not remember what you say; they will always remember how you made them feel.

First rate people love being around all kinds of people. They believe that the same spirit that is in them is the same spirit that is in you. What they do to you, they do to themselves. Second rate people like to be around third rate people because they can say, “I am not as bad as they are.” They feel very uncomfortable being around first rate people. So, your offensive or sensitivity meter is a result of your own self worth. When you are solidly founded on who you are, it is tough to be offended.

If someone does make you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to say something. Now make sure you say it with a smile on your face. Here is an example, “Mary, our relationship is important to me but that kind of talk makes me feel uncomfortable. So, in the future, could you not talk like that when I am around? Thanks.”

We have all heard of The Golden Rule – “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” A friend, Tony Alessandra, talks about the “The Platinum Rule™ – “Treat others the way they want to be treated.”

When you are sensitive to others, you shift your perspective.

Don Niguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, a practical guide to personal freedom, puts it all in perspective.

The first agreement, “Be impeccable with your word.” The second agreement is “Don’t take anything personally” (which is the key to not being offensive). The third agreement, “Don’t make assumptions.” The fourth, “Always do your best.” When you apply these to your life, it is really tough to offend or to be offended.